Listen Up: Secrets to Better Conversations
“Listen with ears of tolerance. See through the eyes of compassion. Speak with the language of love.”– Rumi
Let’s be real—most of us think we’re pretty good listeners, right? We nod, we smile, we say things like “uh-huh” or “I hear you” while our minds are busy planning what to say next. But that’s not exactly *listening*. It’s more like waiting for our turn to speak. And trust me, it’s something we’ve all done (me included!).
So, what is active listening, and why does it matter so much?
Active listening is about showing up fully in your conversations—no distractions, no agendas. It's a core element of strong communication and conflict resolution. When we actively listen, we’re not just hearing words, we’re paying attention to the meaning behind those words, to the emotions, to the things that aren’t being said but are felt. This kind of listening can transform our relationships, whether with a partner, a friend, or even a coworker.
When you truly listen, people feel heard. They feel understood, validated, and respected—and let’s face it, who doesn’t want to feel like that? This is the key to resolving conflict, building trust, and creating deeper connections with the people around you.
In my work, I’ve seen time and time again that when we practice active listening, conversations become less about winning or being right, and more about understanding each other. It’s a simple shift, but it has a huge impact on how we relate to others.
Now, I know life is busy, and it’s easy to feel like there’s no time to slow down and truly listen. But active listening doesn’t have to be hard. Here are a few tips to help you have peaceful communication:
P – Presence yourself fully
Be in the moment, give your full attention to the conversation, and eliminate distractions.
E – Echo what you hear
Reflect back what the other person is saying to show you understand their perspective.
A – Ask open-ended questions
Encourage deeper conversation by asking questions that allow the other person to share more.
C – Consider non-verbal cues
Pay attention to body language, tone, and facial expressions to understand what’s being communicated beyond words.
E – Empathize instead of fixing
Resist the urge to solve their problems. Sometimes, they just need to feel heard and supported.Active listening is a skill, and like any skill, it takes practice. You don’t have to be perfect (none of us are), but with small, intentional efforts, you’ll notice a shift in your relationships. Conversations will feel more meaningful, conflicts will become easier to navigate, and you’ll likely feel more connected to the people in your life.
So, the next time you’re in a conversation, take a breath, get present, and try these tips. You might be surprised at what you hear when you really start to listen.
Want more tips on building stronger, more connected relationships? Keep your ears perked up and your eyes open for my upcoming course, The Art of Connection: a Playbook for Healthy, Happy Relationships. Until then, reach out if you want to connect. I’m here!